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The Bachelorette- live blogging the social mutants on display.

24 May

Ally is not looking her best. tone down the “orange county glow in the dark” blond and put copious amts of conditioners in it and your bottom lip looks ridonkulous. I came in late but I did see that weatherman- geek and eek. What do you want to bet that he works for an ABC affiliate? He is milking this for all its worth- he may be genuinely interested but he is also WORKING it. Pls leave.

first up is a canadian but he seems nice and has confidence

not crazy about the 2nd w/the silly joke

3- he seems nice, a bit nervous

4- ty hmmm, perhaps its just the southern accent but, good impression

5– desperate for attention- jumps out of the sunroof– what’s a matta fool- you don’t know any f’ing shakespeare? tool.

6- ouch, but he’s cute, oops loses pts for rolling around on the floor w/odder guys.

7- jay seems british and not in a good way- not diggin it.

8- i don’t like magicians

9- kasey seems comfortable w/himself- but wait I need subtitles– he’s hard to understand.

10- cheeseball kyle. just. cheeseball.

11-roberto is hot, his job is not. I love what he said though- whatever he said– he wins some points. oh, she agrees.

12– whoa a vienna slam. I think he was on a soap opera I watched in the 80’s-= ugh

13- he seems shy- could be cute.

14- tyler- seems nervous but real.

15- john gives off a real geek vibe and ugh— girls don’t like to be made to feel uncomfortable.

16- he’s got confidence- why the dramatic pause? oh, he’s desperate for camera time- its the weather man. no.

17- craig has confidence but not as easy on the eyes as the others

18- steve, is not so tall.

19- kirk is not so tall too. And we DON’T like magicians. no.

20- boots, hmm. but he does seem cute. ooops he just mistakenly tried to reference a time when she wore boots. epic fail.

21- hunter (some fool called me – so I missed him)

22- derek, cheese ball- and you better yank that leaf off her head. no- not a fan.

23- phillip- hhas a nice confidence, doesn’t seem fake.

24- derrek- oh no, he has a nick name- shooter which he will explain later. that won’t be necessary shooter, we get it.

25- does a back flip off the car– no thanks, Jason. Thanks for playing.

Does ally have a bunny tail on? I guess that’s her mic.

Her dress is just kind of there. Roberto is cute but he reminds me of mario lopez. frank is the first to ask for alone time. I don’t dig him at all but I like that he lived in Paris for a while but WHY would you move there to write screenplays. BTW never tell people you right screenplays unless we’ve seen one in the theater. Someone just said he made a scrapbook– oh, kirk, don’t tell people that (that’s between you and your gammy). Ok, he’s letting her get to know him w/it which is clever- but he should have blamed it on his gammy- that would have made it ALMOST socially acceptable. This guy is a mumbler– they need to subtitle him– I’m missing what they’re talking about– oops she seemed to like it. WHAT did he say? Is he hearing impaired? He’s making me feel that way. Hunter- has no shame which is actually something I find really attractive (AKA will ferrel, adam sandler etc). I like to see a man playing an instrument- that’s attractive but hunter doesn’t really do it for me. Shooter- OMG he is talking about premature. EPIC FAIL. She needs to pull a Jake and ask Chris if she can send him away STAT!!!! Its not funny, it IS weird and now that’s all we can think about w/you. UGH, she’s got the weatherman/cheeseball and the soap star on the bench- blah.

roberto asked for alone time- kindof awkward timing but a good move. He’s also the only one I noticed her have a “whoa he’s sexy” type reaction to. He’s a FL boy, folks still together, entrepreneur– all’s good. Asks what she’s looking for- that’s nice. He’s got the 1st impression rose FO SHO. Oh, a dancer, nice.

I’m diggin the cape cod dude. WTF– he just LIED! NOT COOL. Maybe it happened recently and he’s emotional. When my dog died I didn’t tell classmates for months bc I couldn’t talk about it w/out crying! Someone w/terrible hair just gave her a fishing hook- yuk. Jay the lawyer and the hook guy get the boot- if it was from me. God, I hope she sends the cheeseball/weatherman home. I don’t dig the wrestler either– total waste of a good looking guy too. He should stop talking. OH NO, the wrestler just let the cat out of the bag that wrestling is FAKE- yank that passport. Oh, good- he’s getting called out for having the wrong motivation- points for Craig though he is giving me a real big brother vibe. I didn’t hear the story behind the tiny shoes but she likes it and appreciates having a big bro for advice. She’s worried about people being there for the wrong reasons- you know, like how she was feeling when she talked w/producers about creating the losing job must leave fiction so that she’d get to be the next bachelorette.

Chris just came in to stir the pot w/the secret mean girls ballot- nice. Kyle’s job is…outdoorsman…that must be nice. I would definitely vote that weatherboy off. Keep the wrestler around- cheese is not a threat. Oh, that’s the first suit you’ve ever bought. You shouldn’t tell people that unless you’re 12. I like the way he talks – a nice gift and he made it w/power tools. I like guys who love their sister’s– What’s his name? I likey. Somebody called soapstar out for having a toupee. funny but I don’t think so- that’s quite an elaborate hair hat if so. I like this southern boy w/the prominent ears. WOW, look at his chest- yes pls! Oh CALLED IT– Roberto gets the 1st rose. This is cringe worthy though.

Jay is slick, and not in a good way. Chris brings the awkward in strong. I hope that dude that just brought the ballot in got paid alot bc that looked awfully toolish and unecessary. Justin got a lot of votes, damn I wish it was cheesyweatherboy. The wrestler looks good and can speak, he’ll stay- she will think the men are jealous bc that’s the way she’d vote. The soap star cannot put a tie and shirt together- yuk.

8 will go home- that doesn’t sound suspicious at all- I’m sure ally didn’t come up w/that number. Jesse gets the first one, I’m not going to name all of them. I’ll just comment on the 8 losers. Hunter looks like he will cut a bitch if he doesn’t get one. Weatherboy is NERVOUS. I bet he loves the movie LA Story. So do I but for different reasons– plllls send him home. OMG the soap star stays. She has weird taste. We do have to keep in mind that she is ABSOLUTELY the producer’s little bitch she will do WHATEVER they like. Which MUST be why she just kept weatherboy. I dislike this girl and see through her obvious desperation for FAME. That fat bottom lip of hers REALLY bothers me- WHY do something so obviously artificial. Angelina is beautiful bc she was born that way– other people need to STOP– nobody is pulling that look off freakshows. Shooter is going to need some serious surgery and the services of witness protection bc he will NEVER live that down.

OMG it looks like this season will be HEAVY on the cheese. Ally thinks she’s auditioning for becoming America’s sweetheart. She is SUPER aware of being on camera. PLEEEEEEASE tell me someone didn’t try to open a vein over this. Oh no, someone w/a girlfriend too?! I feel dirty…and so manipulated. See ya next week.
————————-

PS- those jersey wives get about 1/2 my attn. I’m allergic to too much. but….damn they are really just begging for it. jackie is so cute – she’s my favorite but she should take charge a bit more w/her daughter. the life coach may sound silly and it does, but its also not a bad idea to help her focus. she should have pitched it better– and said- i know it sounds goofy but who knows? i’ll go w/you, let’s go and if its goofy then we’ll have had a good laugh. Then I’d make it a pre-req for getting laundry privileges- HA you got her. sweet and sour. i can’t believe caroline couldn’t talk her sons out of the whole strip club story line- i love her but this skeeves me out.

danielle– looks and acts reptilian– she is just seething evil- its leaking all over the place. I feel like she could peel of a thin layer and she would be one of those creatures we fear and loathe- hunter thompson style. She creeps me out. This benefit at the brownstone is not at all obvious– good job producers.

whoa– jackie just put it DOWN on danielle. so true!!! she is ON. wow, loving caroline too. I guess dina is getting some kind of bonus for agreeing to keep danielle in the storyline.

ugh, I can’t even mention the embarrassing carwash incident. Exploit women=good business– way to be a man Caroline’s son. just yuk. and i already showered.

jeez- is danielle trying to sell her daughter? this is weird. is she trying to scare her enemies? check that off your list crazy girl. handle w/care- she and kelly bensimon should hang out. Are you there Bravo gods? Its me Kim. Could you make that happen pls. Have the whitesuits on standby but just think about the ratings GOLD of getting those nutballs together.

I swear Theresa is 11 yrs old. I would definitely keep her around for sheer entertainment. She would get an invite to every sleepover– she always brings the best barbies- and she is unmatched at playing dress up. Oh, getting leaky over the godmother invite– that’s so sweet. that’s a nice catholic tradition– do the diet catholics do that?

jeez w/the previews– its all sopranos up in there. trying to lure me back. bastiches!

———————-
OMG- dean is soo desperate. He’s sooo obviously trying to get on that stupid star dancing show that’s too annoying to mention. gross I don’t even know if I can watch this show– Tori and Dean. pls stop.

Is that smart to put play-doh in the mouth in front of impressionable children?

I do like to watch them redecorate though. I don’t always agree w/her taste, though I’m almost w/her on the TV love, but I like to watch anyone decorate. Dean skeeves me out– his desperate, faux super-earnest bid for attn is just too obvious. its painful. Pls, like Dean is lacking self confidence– he can barely carry that head of his around. He’s just like one of those whiny girls who always needs reassurance. There is nothing tori and dean won’t do for these producers. Its funny though bc I still somehow find Tori so likable– and I used to hate her and say terrible mean things about her when she was Donna. Ah, maturity. ;) Her, not me. Obviously.

Are they really putting diapers on that chicken? Dean should NOT be allowed to race– I get the distinct impression that he sux. That’s so cute/clueless- she didn’t know paint doesn’t come out of clothes. Where’s that button that lets me strike through words??? I loved that button. I haven’t been blabbing in a while. Good motorcycle advice for Dean. He’s not a bikes best friend. True that Dean- w/out your family you’re nothing. Now don’t just say it super earnestly into the camera, just do it.

oops I just figured out that Ali spells it like Mohommed. Now I will think of her as ALI. Floats like a dragonfly, stings like a wasp. She’s about to come out on Jimmy Kimmel. She looks cute- side pony tail girl has brought the twins out to play and still needs to tone down her hair. ALSO–We’d like to know a little more about you for our files. We’d like to help you learn to help yourself.

Her lip looks a bit more normal. Ali seems to be saying she found love but really not saying much of anything. What she’s TRULY in love w/is herself and you Jimmy, bc you’re giving her time on TV. Oh, I never saw those extra clips of the tool that climbed out of the roof and didn’t even quote shakespeare– he needs to go. She’s a freak, she just admitted to liking sensitive pony tail guys and dudes who wear fanny packs. She needs help. Jimmy just invited her back each week- that should be fun. He makes me laugh and worships letterman like I do.

Looks like Monday night will be all reality ALL night– that sux bc I also have to watch those crazy bitches in NYC– bc those housewives are putting the batshit DOWN HARD! Did you see Kelly Bensimon go mental on TV– almost sad. Almost. She has been righteously begging for it since last season– she is UNBELIEVABLY IMPRESSED w/herself. Its fascinating.

That was sweet of Dean at the end but again, Obvious Boy, he just wanted to not go to bed w/her V Jay jay mad at him.

 
3 Comments

Posted by on May 24, 2010 in DAMN, pro-choice, Reality TV, Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , ,

3 responses to “The Bachelorette- live blogging the social mutants on display.

  1. Alice

    June 2, 2010 at 4:42 pm

    What was this show thinking putting on that Hunter????
    Discusting!!!

    First of all this show is watched by women and albeit if you live in the outback & have to kill what you eat – fine but to be so proud about killing Animals as trophys was DIspiccable- oh and lets not forget about that gloat about killing a bear too!!!
    hope it wasnt a cub!!

    Ugh!!!

     
    • citizenkim

      June 9, 2010 at 9:23 am

      Amen Alice- I agree. Also, though, what was th show thinking putting on Weatherman?!?!?!?? He is so clearly gay. Hopefully this show will lead to a big discussion w/his family.

       
  2. Sherry

    June 11, 2011 at 9:35 pm

    Hi, I have read your theory as to what happened to Caylee and I was wondering if you have been following the trail? Alot of what you said in your story of what happened to Caylee made alot of sense and I was wondering what you think now after some of the evidence has been shown during the trail.
    I think it is an awful picture I see playing in my mind when I think of what the poor little girl went through. It just breaks my heart. I also do not understand how someone can be so evil as Casey is. My husband has stated seeing her in the courtroom that she looks like the devil with her hair pulled back as it is. Is she trying to look motherly or what?
    Earlier this week we had some hot weather. I live in New York. IT got me thinking of another theory as to what might have happened to Caylee. Since I feel that Casey used her trunk as a bed for Casey when she was out partying and with no regards to her daughter’s welfare…she could have died of “Heat Exhaustion” too. I would imagine is she was placed in a trunk with hardly no fresh air ( and that is only if the duct tape wasn’t covering up her nose so she could breath) if she was drugged her poor little body could have overheated. I have heard of people and little ones in the past that have died from heat exhaustion from being left in a hot car with no water. What do you think? I would love to have you write to me. My email is celticdreamweave@yahoo.com
    I would love to know what your thoughts are now.
    Again…I really was struck with how your theory made alot of sense though. Just wanted you to know that.
    Sherry

     

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