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Is that Chemistry I Taste or Just Your Tonsils? Watching The Bachelor 1/26.

26 Jan

I came in about 20 minutes late but it doesn’t look like I missed anything…except girlfriend coming home from her date doing the AM walk of shame in HIS CLOTHES. You know something is seriously wrong w/your dating situation when you have to say about another girl…I don’t like that she smells like him and is wearing his pants. Saucer of milk– Table 2! Ugh the set of General Hospital– who cares– the crazy girl volunteers to kiss him– she is working my last nerve. OMG– they are actually going to act and ICK he’s going to suck face w/even more of them. OMG this is sooo unbelievably BAD. Pls tell me they aren’t going to air this on that soap? Desperate much? Does that girl have a wig on? BAD WIG and that fur coat is fugly– WTF? She must have really pissed off the stylist- she looks ridiculous and Melissa needs to tame her Sarah Palin Poof– its trying to eat her head.

Nikki and Bama are having a pity party by the pool–we’re such good girls, who loved really deeply and lost really tragically. Ugh, I don’t know who I see him with? It really bothers me that I care. I’m actually wondering…WHERE’S DEANNA? Can you say b!tch on daytime TV? Meagan is straight up MUNCHING on his face. GROSS! The other girls are all whiny– that wasn’t a screen kiss– you were trying to take advantage of an oppty. Um, thank you Captain Obvious. This season is just a whole crew of CRAZY w/ a healthy dose of dork tossed in— Would you like EXTRA CHEESE w/that?

Oh no, poor Naomi- the fact that he made out w/a BUNCH of other girls makes it LESS special? Are ya sure? I just really don’t get it w/this show– how can these girls put themselves out there like that? Naomi needs to fix her hair and don’t even get me started on Melissa. Megan is embracing the process. Who is that girl between her and Crazy? She looks matronly. Megan was just telling him how she doesn’t see how the other girls can say this is SOO hard but she doesn’t see it that way…and THEN she pulls a POUTY face and almost cries bc he doesn’t stick his tongue down her throat. Lauren is about to get all SUPER bossy– yeah, that’s right sweetie, people LOVE to get bossed around. She just demanded the rose and told us if she doesn’t get it she will be PISSED– yeah, we got that.

OMG Melissa is turning on the water works. Jason is reassuring her about their connection. Evidently he feels a connection w/just about everyone. Or at least his tongue feels a connection w/their tonsils–UGH!! I on the other hand DON’T feel a connection w/him at all. I am finding him less and less attractive- and we didn’t start at a very good place there anyway. He is a bit of a goober! Now, don’t get me wrong–he does seem really sweet — and some girls like goobers…they are just not for me. I think its possible Jason hasn’t had a whole lot of dating experience and so now he’s like a kid in a candy store. Didn’t he see Willy Wonka? Bad things can happen when you over indulge–you can turn blue, and swell up and…ok that’s enough. Crazy girl is sensing rejection– that’s cause you let a little too much crazy leak out crazy girl. You’ve got to keep some of that on the DL till you’re sure you’ve reeled them in. 😉

I wonder if this batch of women is extra crazy bc they were pre-screened to be ready to be his baby’s mama?? So these women have clocks that are ticking like Marissa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny. Desperate much?

Wow- there’s only one rose -ouch- for these two. Maybe that’s why he’s going to upset the rose ceremony. IF he’s does then that will be really cruel to whichever girl still there who he’s holding back from. Oh, that’s pretty, I love twinkle lights. Oh, GOOD ANOTHER woman- a dance instructor. Ouch, Jason and Nikki are soo awkward. It almost makes me think they ARE right for each other– they are both nerds. I’m sorry but he looks really dorky dancing. Oh no, Nikki is going to melt down- wow, I can’t believe she actually cut in.

I somehow think he will send Steph/Bama home- bc the connection is slower and she has a child– she would be harder to relocate. Wow, I wonder what happened w/the 11 year relationship– whoa a sudden dumping– that’s ROUGH! Nikki just seems more real somehow– I think Bama has her head in the clouds a bit– thinking- oh, this is meant to be bc of what I’ve been through. I think he will keep Nikki. Wow, he kept Steph- I don’t think she’ll win in the end but maybe he was worried that Nikki wouldn’t be ready to settle down. It seems like Nikki is handling herself well, well at least she’s not crying– I can’t stand how she puts herself down…I’m not smart enough, or pretty enough– Its not fair…I think Nikki is sweet but just a little naive and she needs to get more confidence. That ex-boyfriend apparently did quite a number on her self esteem. Poor Nikki.

Looks like they’re drinking pinkpantypulldowns–they really shouldn’t drink before they do their hair. Their hair really bothers me on this show. Can you tell? He seems to really dig Melissa- she might be the front runner for me– which is probably the kiss of death for her. OMG– does he really have to kiss EVERYBODY???? Its disgusting. OMG I TYPE o-m-g I DO NOT use it in conversation. He asks Megan if she knows how to waltz. Um, you don’t know how to waltz either Jason. Lauren is annoying but Jason still needs to look for chemistry in the back of her mouth.

Here’s the rose ceremony. Mr. Serious face comes out all- I know it will be devastating when some of you don’t get to date me. Megan will get the final. Oh uh, nobody. He’s all caught up in the drama. That seems extra mean to not give it out- you just made out w/all of them and let them open up to you. Maybe if you’d have conversed w/them instead of tonguing them you might have known more about them–OR —you could even have given them the chance to listen to you explain how you like them as a friend instead of sucking their face before telling them to get lost!! Crazy is going to go home and use her electric toothbrush- ok, thanks for sharing- I would do quite a lot of that.

Jason toasts here’s to the 5 most wonderful women I’ve ever met— One of you will the the grand prize of spending the rest of your life w/me (or words to that effect). GAG! Next week they’re going to Seattle. Lauren is singing a song about being famous– she really shouldn’t be singing- and she really shouldn’t be singing that song!! Those girls are NOT your friends sweetie. That song is kindof how I feel about all these people though– they just want to be famous. Gross!

Watching The City now, damn that Olivia is a b!tch. She keeps giving Whitney unsolicited advice, then pretty much tells her she’s immature and catty and I’m too good to act so childish…but I’d love to come over for a drink. Yikes Catarina and Ali are going to meet? That’s what you get 2 timing dirt ball. Is that true that Cat didn’t know he had a girlfriend? I thought she did- hmm. That seems rude how they say art gallery opening instead of the name of the gallery– Greedy much MTV? Maybe the owner was an ass? Who knows?

Cat is gorgeous–ouch this is such an awkward conversation. Adam is so busted. Poor Ali- she’s handling that well- oh, so sad, Cat says, I can’t be here anymore to which Ali replies, you can’t be HERE anymore? Well, I can’t go HOME anymore. She lives w/the dirtball. And just to make it extra special there just millions of people watching your humiliation on TV. The dirtball/Adam is still lying. I would either cut him off and not speak to him ever (or for at least a few months and only then as a distant friend). OR I would ask him to take a lie detector. People who cheat suck. Surely Cat wouldn’t be lying? I would find that scenario MUCH harder to believe!

Olivia and her cousin are annoying- there she goes w/another bit of unsolicited advice. Jay is siding w/Adam for something completely new. I think he’s lying about what Adam said to the direct question- right?? Jay needs to be careful how he treats Whitney. We KNOW how desperate you are to be on this show! Ali agreed to meet w/Adam- greeting w/a hug and a kiss. Is she wearing an engagement ring? Adam is feeding her BS and she is gobbling it up. She’s going to believe him- interesting. Didn’t she mention in a previous episode that something like that happens every time she goes out of town? If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck…he’s probably a F*CK.

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Posted by on January 26, 2009 in DAMN, Reality TV

 

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